When Everyone Leaves

Well this morning was not my best morning ever.  I was frustrated by all the people.  I just needed a little extra quiet this morning, or something, and I didn’t get it.  Imagine that…no quiet in a house full of people…huh.  There was a little countdown in my head. A little clock ticking down the seconds until the whistling would stop, and the shoe squeaking and the pounding of hardwoods and the talking talking talking. And the buzzy energy.  It was palpable. Every morning, it’s palpable.  I will miss this someday.

Then everyone left and I stood there looking around at the quiet. Poppy looked at me like she expected me to say something important, but I just sat down to eat my oatmeal.  Then I walked around turning off all the lights.  David likes all the lights on.  All. The. Lights. Except in the evening when you actually need all the lights on.  Then he only likes some of the lights on.

And then I straightened out all the pillows that Poppy has smashed and I smacked all the dog hair off them.  I love her but she is extremely hairy. I stood there looking out the window at the front garden which I have completely let go this summer.  It is just plain sad. When I look at it I feel blech.

I sit here now, and behind me Poppy is smashing down my fancy beaded pillow again.  It was fluffy for about ten minutes.  I knew when I bought them she would probably ruin them. I knew it and I bought them anyway.

image

She is asleep now. That is all I can hear, just her slow, deep breathing.

Advertisements
When Everyone Leaves

Yesterday

The punks Fall 2014 NSTDavid sat down on the couch with me before the kids got up and he sipped his coffee.  And then he would swallow his coffee, and I swear it was the loudest swallow I have ever heard.  Over and over with the swallowing.  And then Ella came down. There were about 8 inches between me and the swallower and she managed to wiggle her little self right in there, right in that spot, so that my arm couldn’t move and I could tell right at that moment that it was going to be a bad day.

Everything irritated me.  E.Ver.Y.Thing.

And the loudness.  Some days I just cannot take it.

So, I ate some m&ms, and frankly, I’d like to know why there are blue m&ms.  I liked it when there were tan m&ms, and no red m&ms, and no blue m&ms.  I wish they would go back to regular old m&ms.  Why did they take away the tan m&ms? It’s an outrage, that’s what it is.

Anyway, later in the day I gave everyone a little tiny chore to do because otherwise they would have been playing Crossy Road all day.  Or Fun Run.  Am I the only one whose kids are, like, super loud when they play that game?  Sheesh.  I actually told them to go away from me.  To find a room in the house with a door on it that they could close.  And to make sure they were on a different level than me.  They wanted to go sit on my bed (because it’s awesome).  I said yes, but they had to promise to put all the pillows back and fluff up the comforter.

Who am I kidding?

They’ll promise anything but they’re shaky on the follow through part.  When I saw the mess in my room later I just sighed a big giant sigh and walked away.

They are good kids. They did their homework…they did their chores…they played together (albeit loudly).

After supper we put on Kung Fu Panda.  I sat across from the kids and looked at them and felt just plain sucky.  I knew the whole day through that I would regret the wasted time…I warned myself that I would be sorry…I just couldn’t shake it.  But looking at them like that, in the dim light of early evening, it all melted off.

I told them I was sorry for being such a grump.  And they said

It’s okay Mommy.

This morning Henry was upstairs.  I sent him upstairs to shower before school.  He was running around, in his underwear, singing “Story of My Life.” He cannot carry a tune, which I love.  But really, he cannot.  And also, he was really loud.

I looked at the other three around me and I smiled.

I want a million more moments like that in my life…

Yesterday