My beautiful girl,
One Autumn twelve years ago, I remember rocking you to sleep. In the background played Silent Night and as we rocked, bundled under a knit woolen blanket, I watched the twinkling and flashing of Christmas lights outside. I was so in love with you, Kate.
What I would give for one more night like that. To hold you in my arms, soak in your warmth and wonder about you…about how wonderful and smart and sweet and pretty and gentle you might be someday.
And yet my dreams of what you would be were never quite as beautiful as you are. I never could imagine what it would feel like to walk beside you, your small hand in mine as we picked flowers together, or gathered shells on the beach. What it would feel like when you looked up at me, to show me what little treasure you had found. Never in a million years could I imagine the way my soul would feel when you race by me on your horse, the sun on your face and your flaxen hair flowing behind you.
I never knew what it would feel like to watch you make music, your thin fingers draped across the strings and your brow slightly furrowed as your eyes focus on the notes. I never knew how the joy in my heart would pour out in tears as I watched you sing the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard.
When you smile, your face glows. When you laugh, your eyes twinkle. And my heart sings.
At night when we are curled up under blankets reading books together, I feel the most content; maybe because that’s the way it used to be, back then twelve years ago. We are warm together, while outside a cold wind blows.
You are my dream come true.
Now, you have dreams of your own. I think your dreams are just as beautiful as you are.
With all my heart and soul, I love you Kathryn Sunshine.