Somewhere between watching William shove chips in his mouth and Henry chewing on his shirt, my stomach couldn’t take any more and I quietly walked upstairs and shut the door to my bedroom. I called The Man (who was downstairs) on his phone and told him to please explain to our guests how sorry I was, but that apparently I was going to barf, and as I’m sure they did not wish to witness it, I would not be returning to the party.
I spent the next few hours watching a horrible, awful Lifetime movie. One thing to note about Lifetime…every single commercial is about food (not good when you’re a barfer). Like that laughing cow cheese. Yeah, well, I was not laughing. Also, there are a LOT of food/cooking shows on cable.
I had spent the better part of the previous two days cleaning. I was in sort of a frenzy. Henry had been sick, so I was trying to sterilize so that the rest of us wouldn’t get it. Good try, Mom. It didn’t work. A couple hours after I got sick, William and Kate were both sick. We spent the entire day on Monday sipping apple juice and chewing ice chips and watching movie after movie after movie.
I assumed that (as in the past, in my more youthful days) after eating no more that 5 saltines and a cup of juice for two days that I would appear thinner. And my abs would be super-cut, just like they used to be. I mean, that is the reward for suffering through the misery, right? You’re a pound or two thinner. Well, I don’t think it worked this time. I stood there and looked at myself naked in the mirror and I swear I look exactly the same. Totally disappointed.
So now I have to figure out how I am going to catch up with all of the laundry and homework and projects and house cleaning that didn’t get done for the past two days. But I’m too tired to formulate a plan. And I’m too tired (a little) to care yet.
I totally need (another) nap.