This You


your rosy cheeks, maybe,

or your soft hair, flipped in curls at the ends

or your little sweet toes, the ones that you won’t let me bite

— I don’t know.  Something made me stop and look at you.  

Maybe it was your red eyelashes

or your rosebud mouth. 

Maybe it was the way you were curled up with yeowandmeowmeow, from whom you are lately inseparable 

or the way your shirt was up just high enough that I could see your bellybutton. 

I looked at you and I wondered how many more afternoons I would be able to lay down with you and watch you sleep.  And I felt extremely sad. 

Because I will miss this you.  

I will miss the roundness of you.  I will miss the way you run.  Everywhere.  The tum-tum-tum-tum of your footsteps. 

I will miss the why?  and the parroting and the following and the helping that you do.

I will actually miss the independence, and the let I do it

I will miss the way you carry jelly cat around in the crook of your elbow, and the way you are the baby and I am the mama.     

I don’t know if I will miss the shrieking.  Or the nose picking that you pretend you don’t do.

But I will definitely miss this you. 

This You

5 thoughts on “This You

  1. I’m with you friend. I spent a lot of time just looking at my baby today too and wondering and trying to remember his baby days. Thank goodness for our online journals so we can remember.

  2. Such a mixture of joy and sadness all rolled into one… this breathtaking love that makes your heart ache as they grow. What a beautiful post, friend.

  3. Mom says:

    Yes, she asked me at least a dozen times yesterday when I was leaving: “Where are you going Mem?” So sweet. And I felt a bit closer to her than before.

  4. I’m so delinquent in blog reading. I come here, starting at the top and working my way down. And then I’m reminded that no matter how busy I am or what I’ve got going I really need to make the time to come to this spot on the wide wide internet more often. Because your words? They are so poetic. So inspirational. Like a sip of tea or a gentle breeze, they soothe.

    I love your posts.

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