Mother’s Day…the perfect day to find out how crappy I am at mothering.

For mother’s day, William gave me a homemade card (my favorite kind).  Inside it read

MOM

Sweet

Very Awesome

Not very harmful

Cool

I laughed a little.  Because honestly, that is a little funny.  And I told him I LOVED it, because I really really loved it.

And then I waited for him to give me the card that he made at school.  I accidentally saw it in his school bag, and I didn’t want to ruin it for him, so I pretended I didn’t see it. 

I waited for it.

And I waited. 

And I finally asked for it today.

He said

I threw it away.

“Why?!” I asked.

And then he started to walk away. 

And get mad. 

And then big, round tears fell fast and heavy down his soft cheeks. 

He threw it away because I laughed at the first poem. 

I tried to explain how much I loved his poem. 

And I don’t know if I have ever felt like a crappier mother.   

Because whether or not I meant to, I hurt my little boy.  

As I tucked him in tonight, I told him again how very very much I loved that card.  And he said he was sorry.

And we are all better.

At least on the outside.

But on the inside, I am not really all better.

I am a little tiny bit crushed. 

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Mother’s Day…the perfect day to find out how crappy I am at mothering.

7 thoughts on “Mother’s Day…the perfect day to find out how crappy I am at mothering.

  1. Oh my heart hurts. I would SO feel the same way.

    (It IS funny, though. You’re only human….who could NOT laugh at NOT VERY HARMFUL?)

    But he meant it and it hurt that you laughed and ugh, I hate when stuff like that happens.

    You’re an amazing mom, don’t forget it. He’ll be just fine, of course. And so will you. After about 5 weeks or so…

  2. Oh geez. Like a wise woman told me, it’s how you handle the aftermath and you handled it so well. Now I wonder what the school card said…hmmm.

  3. Oh, I hate it when things like this happen. I would feel the exact same way!

    And I agree with Jen… it’s how you handled it after and you handled it so well. Proof that you are NOT a crappy mom at all! And I’d bet money that William knows that, too. 🙂

  4. Oh honey! I never know how Amara will handle it when I laugh or smile at something she takes so seriously. But because you’re upset about it just proves how much you love those kids. And they will fully appreciate your love one day. Every mom can attest to it.

  5. Mom says:

    I’ve been there. And it involved you as a matter of fact. Remember the small blue delft plate you bought me for Christmas when you were, oh, about nine? And you asked me about blue delft dishes before giving it to me? And I said I didn’t really like that sort of thing much? I’m so sorry I said that. And I love it so much now.

    Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re a wonderful mom. And not perfect. Just like me.

    Love you, Mom

  6. I’m so sorry. I have had days like that and it stinks.

    You are a wonderful Mom. Do you know why? Because you’re still thinking about it. And trying to make it right.

  7. I agree with Angie – it is how you handled it after that counts. William will learn trust and how to make a misunderstanding better, rather than letting it fester.

    Prayers that you are being easier on yourself.

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