Six

In my arms they placed him…my little boy. 

I never could have known what the last six years with this little boy would entail. 

I have cried over this boy.  I have felt so desperately sad and angry and lost.  

I have laughed.  Abundantly. 

I have been frustrated.  Exasperated.

I have been confused.  And I have learned.

I have been exhausted.

I have talked.  And talked.  And talked. 

And I have been exhausted with all of the talking.  And then I have talked some more because that is what he needed. 

I have been so proud of him and I have wanted everyone to know how incredible this boy is.  But I know that someday they will all find out.

I have been charmed by him. 

I am always amazed by him.

He is generous.  He is kind.  He is helpful.  He is sharp as a tack.  He is charismatic.  He is a leader. 

And frankly, the red hair and freckles?  Well.  They’re just the icing on the cake. 

Today, he turns six.  I miss the chubby little baby boy with the red curls.  I miss his quiet.  I miss lying next to him until he fell asleep at night.  And every day that he grows, I realize he is another day further away from that baby boy that was placed in my arms six years ago. 

But then, the other day, I watched him.  He sat shirtless at the island in our kitchen.  His jeans were stained with grass and there were holes in both knees.  They were the victim of backyard football, I’m certain.  With one hand, he grabbed his sandwich, took a bite that was way too big and jumped up from his chair.  He opened the refridgerator, grabbed the jug of milk, poured himself a glass and gulped it down.  And there before me I could see a 16 year old boy.  Flashes of him and what he will be like flickered through me and my heart’s rhythym was fueled with love for this boy.  For once, the bites that are so-big-he-can-barely-chew, and the shirtlessness and the grass stains…I delighted in them.  In his boyness.  I loved it. 

And I was really struck with how lucky I have been for the last six years.  How lucky I am to be his mother. 

How lucky this world is to have little boys.

And how lucky it is to have Henry.

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Six

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