I only have a moment…I have snuck off with The Man’s computer. He shall be back from a meeting at any moment and I must not give the impression that I have missed my computer.
Let me back up…I have no computer. I have not had a computer since Tuesday morning. Horror of all horrors, it just stopped working. The hard drive is intact. It is the motherboard that is fried. Or whatever. I feign intelligence in this area. I have no idea what any of those things are. I just know that my pictures are safe. My files are safe. And even that little sound file of Ella’s heartbeat at 12 weeks is safe.
But anyway, I do not want to give off the impression that I am freaking out without my computer. So I must act swiftly so as not to be caught. Of course he’s probably going to read this and know. Whatever.
Also, I have no stove. Because I am an idiot. I know I have mentioned how very clever I am. I am also an idiot. I am, clearly, an enigma. (I had to look that word up.) So I called the gas company because I wanted to set up auto-bill-pay, and the auto-bill-pay setup wasn’t working online. The auto-bill-pay guy wouldn’t talk to me because my name is not on the account. Seriously guy? I just want to arrange to pay the thing. So anyway, The Man had to call. So to The Man I said, “oh, why don’t you ask them who we need to call to get that very-super-slight gas smell that has emanated from the stove for the last five years fixed.” Well that just set in motion a chain of events that I am still paying for.
Because, you see, now that we have informed the gas company that “we smell gas,” they are obligated to come out and turn off the gas. Which they did. Even though that smell has been there for five years. And even though for five years, it has only ever been very-super-slight. And even though I have a candle burning directly above where that very-super-slight smell is emanating from. (Which now that I’m thinking about it, may not have been the brightest idea…) So the shut-off was back on Thursday. THURSDAY. I have had no stove for 7 days y’all.
Oh, what to do without a stove…
Last night, we had banana splits for supper. And I didn’t care. And guess what? No one complained and they all went to bed with full bellies.
When the guy comes to fix our stove tomorrow, I may shed a tear…