Does the feeling ever really go away?

I don’t really know what to say other than I miss him. 

I know he was just a dog. 

I know.

Honestly, there is not a day that goes by in this house that I don’t see his picture.

Or hear his name spoken. 

Sometimes a memory of him crosses my mind.  I smile.  I can get lost within a daydream, remembering him.

And sometimes while I daydream, memories become deformed.   

And all those memories of that day flood my mind.

Knowing now that he was trying to find a quiet place to leave this world.  Watching his chest rise and fall for the last time, watching him fade…then walking away. 

And putting his things away, as though he had never been here. 

I am left crumpled, an ache in my stomach.  Wondering if that will ever really go away.  All the way away.   

Time does soften the jagged edges.  And yes, the good memories–the ones that have us in stitches–far outnumber the bad ones.

But every now and then, I remember what that felt like. 

Every June 10, I remember.

Coco B&W

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Does the feeling ever really go away?

8 thoughts on “Does the feeling ever really go away?

  1. He’s a lab, right? We have one too. They touch your heart. I don’t know, is it crazy to mourn your grandmother years later? If not, why wouldn’t it be okay to mourn a pet? They’re family too.

  2. I can’t imagine it ever goes away completely – and I think that’s ok. They aren’t really ‘just’ animals, are they? They are members of our family – often the first ones to teach us how to truly love beyond ourselves.

    Tail wags and slobbery kisses for you today!

  3. Toni :O) says:

    No, I don’t think so. I’ve lost a total of four pets in my lifetime….two dogs, two hamsters…still makes me sad to this day. I’m sorry, I know how you feel. He sure was a cutie! I’d like to get a dog, I think my kids would have a BLAST with a dog…however, being away from home all day and the dog being by itself all day makes me sad. So, instead we’re going to Disney World next year and maybe after that, we’ll talk about a dog again. Lots of responsibility having a dog and the last thing I want is to board it to go to DW. We’ll see I guess. Hard enough some days taking care of Guido, our hamster!

  4. Such a sweet picture and he sounds like he meant a lot to your family. We are still trying to explain our dog being gone to the boys and it has only been about three weeks.

  5. Oh how you made me cry. I am sorry. I think the pain of loss is always there no matter what the loss has been. Grief subsides, but rarely leaves.

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