I don’t really know what to say other than I miss him.
I know he was just a dog.
Honestly, there is not a day that goes by in this house that I don’t see his picture.
Or hear his name spoken.
Sometimes a memory of him crosses my mind. I smile. I can get lost within a daydream, remembering him.
And sometimes while I daydream, memories become deformed.
And all those memories of that day flood my mind.
Knowing now that he was trying to find a quiet place to leave this world. Watching his chest rise and fall for the last time, watching him fade…then walking away.
And putting his things away, as though he had never been here.
I am left crumpled, an ache in my stomach. Wondering if that will ever really go away. All the way away.
Time does soften the jagged edges. And yes, the good memories–the ones that have us in stitches–far outnumber the bad ones.
But every now and then, I remember what that felt like.
Every June 10, I remember.