Once upon a time, there was a mommy. And this mommy had an important meeting to attend at the church for her firstborn’s sacrament of reconciliation. (This mommy was not intelligent enough to drop her children off at the friend’s house even though said friend offered, several times, to watch them. But I digress.)
Remember the following: this mommy has four children, one of whom is 19 months, the devil’s spawn a little girl.
So the mommy plans for this meeting, which should only last 15-20 minutes. It should be no problem. No problem whatsoever. Two of the children will be in their faith formation classes. She’ll bring a lollipop for the little girl, and some crackers and milk. That should easily take care of 20 minutes. And for the little boy, she’ll bring his DS. That could occupy him for HOURS. As long as he doesn’t have the sound turned on, it will be fine.
Let me just set the stage…it is 3:20. The meeting is at 4:15. The older children (6 and eight) arrive home from school. They have a rigid schedule today…there is not a lot of time for them to goof off. The mommy prods the 6 year old repeatedly to finish his snack. And to change for basketball because he won’t have time to change after Faith Formation. A tantrum ensues when he cannot get his shoe on, and it is of course, the mommy’s fault, because she tied it too tight (and of course he HAD to have lace-ups. And he HAS to put them on without untying them. Then what is the point of the laces, I ask you? But again, I digress) (Oh, and earlier that day, before school, it was also the mommy’s fault when he couldn’t find his shoes which HE had left in the basement the previous day. Wha? I know, I digress.)
It is now 3:45, and the mommy has to load the car with the stroller, which The Man has removed from the car. But in order to put the stroller in, she has to open the hatch of the car, which means opening the garage door. But before she can do that, she has to buckle the little girl in the car, because if she doesn’t, said little girl will take off out the garage door once it opens, in her slippers, in the freezing rain, while the mommy puts the stroller in the car. (Did I mention that the little girl took a pa-the-tic nap that day, and was cranky?). So the cranky, writhing, fussing baby was buckled in the car, and the mommy opens the garage door, opens the car hatch, and realizes that there are three scooters in the back of the car which must first be removed. Swear words may have been uttered. Scooters were removed. The stroller went in. The hatch was closed.
Because the six year old had gone into freak-out mode on her, the mommy forgot all of her planning…the ds, the crackers and the milk…all forgotten in the kitchen. More swear words. Ah, but there were lollipops in the car for just such an emergency. The clever mommy shoved a couple in her purse for the meeting.
Fast forward to the meeting. Did I mention it was in the church? The quiet church. The quiet, solemn church. They made it through about 10 minutes. Then the mommy had to go stand in the back with the cranky, writhing, lollipop-sucking little girl. Even the lollipop wasn’t working that well. When she told the evil little girl that she would take her lollipop if she didn’t behave, she threw it. Oh yes she did. And she gave the mommy the “what are you going to do about that?” look.
The poor mommy wanted to take the child and dunk her in the fount of holy water. You know, cleanse her. She really wanted to. But she figured people would stare.
So she gathered the shreds of lollipop and her dignity off the floor, and went home.
Upon arriving home, The Man greeted her with “there’s not enough food for supper” or something to that effect.
So she opened the fridge to get a beer so she could think. Only there was none.
How can there be no beer?
So they ate a bunch of leftovers, and The Man and the 6 year old left for basketball.
Everyone else got snuggly in their jammies, the mommy put the little girl in bed and she snuggled up with her little boy to read his book. They were looking at a page called “Professions.” Doctors, nurses, pilots, teachers, judges, carpenters…and then there was a family, with a mom and a dad. And she said to her little boy, “that’s me!” And the little boy said
“Thats just a mom.”
And tomorrow, I’ll be just a mom again. And the next day.
And even though I have days like this, I am glad that I’m just a mom.
Just their mom.