How do I love thee…

Let me count the ways…

One…

Two…

Three…

For more Wordless Wednesday photos, go here.

There is no classy name for this post.

I’m sitting here next to Ella.  Keep in mind she is two.  She actually leaned over, in order to lift her rear end(which I did not teach her), and (for lack of a better word) passed gas.  It was LOUD on that plastic seat and it totally cracked me up.  She says

“Big toot.”

“More.” 

So she leans over again.  She gets all red in the face, trying to force some gas again, in order to make me laugh.  I’m such a totally wonderful influence on her, am I not?

When nothing happens, she looks at me quizzically, as if wondering “where’d all the gas go?”

She tries again.  Again, nothing.

Then she says

“Oop…Poop.”

Classy. 

She’s gonna make a fine wife some day, yessiree.

A Letter to Seasonal Viruses

Dear viruses,

I hate you.

Love,

Kristen

Saturday Evening Blog Post

This post was intended to be published last night.  However, you actually have to push “PUBLISH” for it to be published.  Which clearly, I forgot to push.  So here you go, my Sunday morning Saturday Evening Blog Post…

——-

I’m sitting here, way too late at night, sipping my theraflu and watching college football.  Well, I guess I’m listening to college football and reading blogs.  And I came across The Saturday Evening Blog Post by way of Heather of the EO (who by the way is fab).  Here you can link up with your favorite post from the previous month.

So I went back and took a little look-see at what I had going on in September, and what I found was that there was not a lot going on apparently.  (Which is strange because I somehow have not had any time to clean this house for the last two weeks because I am so busy.  I have been staring at the same string of drips on my hardwood floor for a while now.  And I keep thinking I’m going to get those…as soon as I finish suchandsuch I’m going to get those drips of whoknowswhat.  And yet, there they remain.)

Anyway, the one September post that stood out to me was this one.  If you’ve got something to share, head on over.  If not, head on over anyway, you’re sure to find something worth your while there. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to go to beddy bye.  The events of last night have me worn down completely.  And let me just be clear here in that they were not “good” events.  There was throwup.  And I think that’s all I need to say.

Oh, PS, check out my giveaway below – Woohoo!

Sneaking Around

I only have a moment…I have snuck off with The Man’s computer.  He shall be back from a meeting at any moment and I must not give the impression that I have missed my computer. 

Let me back up…I have no computer.  I have not had a computer since Tuesday morning.  Horror of all horrors, it just stopped working.  The hard drive is intact.  It is the motherboard that is fried.  Or whatever.  I feign intelligence in this area.  I have no idea what any of those things are.  I just know that my pictures are safe.  My files are safe.  And even that little sound file of Ella’s heartbeat at 12 weeks is safe.

But anyway, I do not want to give off the impression that I am freaking out without my computer.  So I must act swiftly so as not to be caught.  Of course he’s probably going to read this and know.  Whatever.

Also, I have no stove.  Because I am an idiot.  I know I have mentioned how very clever I am.  I am also an idiot.  I am, clearly, an enigma.  (I had to look that word up.)  So I called the gas company because I wanted to set up auto-bill-pay, and the auto-bill-pay setup wasn’t working online.  The auto-bill-pay guy wouldn’t talk to me because my name is not on the account.  Seriously guy?  I just want to arrange to pay the thing.  So anyway, The Man had to call.  So to The Man I said, “oh, why don’t you ask them who we need to call to get that very-super-slight gas smell that has emanated from the stove for the last five years fixed.”  Well that just set in motion a chain of events that I am still paying for. 

Because, you see, now that we have informed the gas company that “we smell gas,” they are obligated to come out and turn off the gas.  Which they did.  Even though that smell has been there for five years.  And even though for five years, it has only ever been very-super-slight.  And even though I have a candle burning directly above where that very-super-slight smell is emanating from.  (Which now that I’m thinking about it, may not have been the brightest idea…)  So the shut-off was back on Thursday.  THURSDAY.  I have had no stove for 7 days y’all. 

Oh, what to do without a stove… 

Last night, we had banana splits for supper.  And I didn’t care.  And guess what?  No one complained and they all went to bed with full bellies.

When the guy comes to fix our stove tomorrow, I may shed a tear…

I was one smelly chic

Just fyi, Toms of Maine deoderant is not terribly helpful in the b.o. department.  At least not for me.  I do like their toothpaste, though.

You’re welcome.

The Purple Balloon

One of my favorite pictures from her 2nd birthday.  She must have played with that balloon for an hour.  Or two. 

Click here for more Wordless Wednesday photos.

Faces

This week’s I heart faces contest is carries the theme of “sepia toned.”  My bosom friend Jenny suggested I give it a whirl.  Alrighty then, here is my entry…

She was gazing at her birthdaty balloons outside on the deck.  Is she a doll or what?  Check out her dimpled hands!!!  Oh, and do check out other sepia-toned entries at iheartfaces!

I am not a dirty person.

Let me just say upfront, before I go any further, that I am not a dirty person.  We are not a dirty family. 

But the ants?  The ants think we are dirty. 

At first, there were just a couple of them…one here, one there.  We’d vacuum them up with the dustbuster and voila, they were gone. 

But then there were a few more.  Like maybe 100 throughout the course of a day. 

Today, I have lost count.  And it is 8:34 am people.

I don’t know where they’re coming from.  

I keep killing them. 

I am at the point now where I take great pleasure in smashing them.  Which incidentally, ants don’t smash that easily.  You really have to put some elbow grease into it, just FYI. 

And all of this sadistic ant-killing makes me feel a little unnerved. 

Please tell me you’ve had this problem, too?   (I mean the ant problem.  Not the sadistic ant-killing problem.)

Please? 

Anyone?

Lie to me if you have to. 

And while you’re at it, I need to know how to get rid of the little creeps.

My opinion of the rain is that it can go away and never come back.

Yep, that’s how I feel alright. 

How many days of rain have we had now…like six? 

You know, one day of rain is nice…refreshing, it greens things up, bla bla bla.

Day two of the rain was inconvenient at best.  I didn’t do any errands on day one of the rain, because that’s just less than fun with a baby and a child with hearing aids that can’t get wet.  So if I don’t run errands on day two, then I’m really going to be behind. 

Day three of the rain.  I’m really behind.  I didn’t run errands on day two either, because I figured I’d just devote day three to errands, and maybe I’d get lucky and not have rain.  Riiiight.  I became rather grumpy, friends.

Day four of the rain.  Grumpy didn’t quite capture my mood correctly.  Hostile.  Yes, hostile is more appropriate. 

Day five.  Rain.  Exhausted.  Rain is ex.haus.ting.

Day six.  Clouds.  Heavy, suffocating, foul, oppressive clouds again. 

Tomorrow, the forecast is for rain. 

I just have no response to that.