Tips for a Successful Ballpark Outing

Yesterday we took the kids to a baseball game.  We did this last year, and managed to scribble down a few important tips to remember for this year.  Here’s one that sticks out in my mind:  Women who are 8 months pregnant will be ticked off for the rest of the day a good hour and a half when $140 speeding ticket is incurred on ride to game.  Leave early so you don’t have to “make up time.” 

Luckily, I’m not pregnant this year, and my husband did manage to control his need for speed.  We were off to a good start.  I won’t bore you will all the details, but I’ll give you a few tips that we jotted down to remember for next year:

1. Put the sunblock on the baby before you get into the ballpark.  It makes her scream, and you look like a side show trying to spread thick white lotion all over the wiggly little screaming redhead.
2. Don’t buy the red gatorade when the children are wearing light colors–self explanatory.
3. Don’t watch the game.  You must watch your children with vigilance lest you miss the fact that your four year old is throwing popcorn by the handfuls.
4. Don’t expect to stay for more than 3 innings the entire game.  The “is it over yets” start at about the second inning. 

I had delusions of grandeur where this game was concerned.  You know, we were going to be that all-American family doing that all-American thing, having a fun family time together, and there would be memories to last a lifetime.  Next year I’m going to lower my expectations.  I will expect to pay approximately $562 in concessions, and stay for two innings.  Maybe I’ll get a picture or two, and hopefully one of them will be in focus.